Parents, teachers, society never fail to set standards for children. It’s a good thing as children should look up to adults and set their goals and strive towards it. But in this race for achievement, are we collectively failing to prepare them to be fully equipped to face life that is interspersed by both ups and downs?
Many a time, children brought up with this ‘always achieve’ motto – How do they fare in society? They are not going to be looked up to as the 1st ranker all their lives. Once they enter the job scenario, they are just like anybody else. Work is replete with different outcomes and nobody is going to be handing out a badge every other day.
These children are unable to face any situation where they are second-best. They develop unhealthy relationships with everybody as they are all the time trying to prove they are Numero Uno. Soon they earn the title of Mr Unpopular. Is this what we have raised them for?
Oh No! We have not raised them but ‘raced’ them!
Does it mean that we do not give them goals to achieve? Do we not instill a sense of competition in them? If so, don’t we end up grooming children to be totally laid back and unfocussed? So how much of aiming high is sufficient and how much of it is detrimental? Where is the line between the two?
While guiding the child to achieve his goal, adults make enormous efforts to do away with the hurdles and pave the path for the child. At the same time, every parent/teacher has to be able to visualize a child’s capabilities and his potential along with what is essentially, his aptitude. The dominant adult in the child’s life, be it the teacher or parent has to recognize, positively nurture and tap these probable talents of the child. There is a great career for every talent provided it is put to proper use.
Adequate research has to be done into what are the career prospects for whichever path the child has an aptitude for. If a particular subject appears to be fine as a mere hobby and may not fetch a lucrative career upfront, the adult has to take the onus of explaining the facts of life to the child. Every child possesses an abundance of talents and each can be put to use to provide him with a means of living.
Not giving up the ‘mere hobby’ is very important at this juncture. The child can be groomed to build a stable, financial base/backup and simultaneously pursue the hobby. The parent should not deride or deny the hobby. It keeps the child happy to perform in his chosen career: It is very important for one to be happy to be able to achieve anything in life. In times to come, the hobby may turn out to be very lucrative. So why lose a talent which is inherent and easy to produce results.
The end result may be something that we may not have anticipated, visualized but fine. The attitude should be that one has achieved to have reached there. It should not be that I am here because I failed elsewhere. Everything’s wrong in the usage of the word ‘failure': it’s not failure but resetting one’s goals.
Many a time, a few setbacks in the early days are welcome in order to improve upon the goals rather than pursuing something which may not be fulfilling later. A child by committing mistakes, realizes where he has gone wrong and automatically corrects himself. In that way, failure brings in surety for the future.
Preparing one’s child for every possible outcome is what is the ideal parent’s requirement and not make him feel inadequate or at a loss for having failed oneself or the parents. Failure in the dictionary of a positive thinking person means stepping stones to success.
Prepare your child to face any challenge and see him blossom beautifully.